Dating can be pretty exciting. We get all nervous and jittery on our first dates. Some of us stare at the mirror for ages thinking about what to say or do during the date. We calculate our chances with the other person. There are just so many things that we can think of that the date can turn out into; some are good outcomes, while some are bad. Dating is much like gambling, we are never sure how things would turn out. We may be expecting something but things happen and everything shifts. On the other hand we can always learn to play the cards we are dealt with well.
Dating has rules too. Can’t just go out there and do whatever pleases you, otherwise you might end up with no one because everyone else tries to run away from you. There are manners and etiquettes that you should follow in order to look like a great catch. You are not a monkey (literally speaking, but yeah we were all descended from primates), so don’t act like one. Now I have taken the liberty to lay down some ground rules of the stuff you should not do on dates.
1. Don’t Talk Too Much About Your Self
Nothing can be more boring than listening to someone who is just interested in him or herself. The constant jabbering and jabbering about how great you are or what a nice person you are is just something that would send someone running on their heels in minutes. Allow the other person to talk. Listen to him or her intently. Many people commit the mistake of talking too much because they want to appear interesting to the other person. But the secret to attracting someone is to show that you are actually interested in them. If you are not interested in them and you are only interested in talking about yourself, then you should have just dated yourself.
A person who talks and talks about him or herself is either self-centered, narcissistic, lonely, or insecure or all of the above. On the other hand a nice person to talk to is open to ideas. He or she laughs at the other persons jokes and exchanges ideas in a bright and smart way.
2. Stop Talking About Your Ex or How Depressing Your Job Is
This person agreed to go out on a date with you because he or she remotely thought that he or she will have a bit of fun. He or she did not sign up to be your therapist. I mean it is ok to talk about this if you guys have gotten a few dates or so, but if you are just on date number one or date number 10 then you should shut your mouth about how awful your life is. Life is full of depressing things already, this person did not date you to add more stress into his or her life.
Even if you have known this person for a very long time you still should not treat your date like a sob session. You are dating because you want to go to the next level. If you want to just rant all night then you should have never called it a date but rather a drinking-crying-ranting session.
3. Don’t Expect the Other Person to Pick Up the Bill
Classic date scenario: Man picks up the girl at 7PM, man drives to the restaurant, man orders the food and then… man pays for the bill? Not! Girls, girls, girls (or boys for that matter), please don’t treat your date like your parent, it is not their obligation to pay for the whole bill. I mean we are not in the Victorian era any more. No one should be forced to pay for something that you both enjoyed.
Dating as two consenting adults comes with responsibilities. One of this is bringing enough cash (or credit card) to cover for the meal. Offering to pay for the movie while the other one pays for dinner would be nice too.
4. Acting Too Clingy
Hello this is a date, you guys are not yet boyfriend or girlfriend yet. This is just down right irritating. Clinginess is a sure sign of being desperate. I mean crazy stalker like desperate. It is such a big turn off if the girl keeps on texting and texting after the date like a jealous wife. If a man is too clingy, then he seems like a stalker. There is a thin line between being sweet and being clingy. Signs of clinginess are agreeing with everything the other person says, stalking his or her Facebook account, sending a ton of messages and trying to follow the person around like a lonely puppy. If you start doing such things, stop yourself, you may still save your face or better yet ask your friends to stop you.
5. Don’t Pretend to be Someone You’re Not
Pretending to be someone you are not is not just difficult, it is also obvious. No one likes a fake. If you can’t be the person he or she wants then don’t go out with them because in the long run, once you become bf-gf, and all the lovey-dovey is gone, then you will absolutely hate each other. Don’t act like a super cool guy when you are more of a boy next door or even an anime fan. There is someone out there who absolutely adores the type of person you are, there is no need to curtail your personality just to fit someone’s standards.
6. Don’t Over Dress
I mean sometimes we do get too excited to go on a date. We can’t sleep the night before just picturing how our date will go. We plan our outfits and spend hours in front of the mirror to look fab, but there is no need to go to a signature store to get new threads. Wearing something simple and elegant works best for girls. Women who put too much make up on is such a turn off. For men, a simple watch and if your wear earrings, one stud is fine. Putting on too much will make you look like a Christmas tree. Don’t spray too much perfume, you are not there to be a mosquito repellent.
7. Do Not Assume
There is nothing more infuriating than a girl or a boy who is assuming. Just because you have one date it does not mean that he or she is head over heels for you. Be casual and cool, not clingy. Do not assume that the girl went out with you that she is going to spread her legs right away, do not assume that a man is going to be your husband just because you had a date. This is one of the biggest turn offs ever, being too assuming.
8. Don’t Act Like a Slob
Yes, I said be yourself, but there is such a thing a good manners. Do not show up not showered and looking like a pig (or worse smelling like one). Act as if you are interested and willing to go a bit further than your normal self. Try to eat like you’re a person and not a goat. Don’t make slurping sounds. Don’t drink too much. Laugh like a human and not like a hyena.
9. Don’t Turn It Into A Group Date
If you want to bring your friend, you have to tell your date. Bringing a friend to your date can make him or her out of place and uncomfortable. He or she wanted to go out with you and not your peer group. Unless you both wanted it to be a group date, don’t turn it into one.
If you are wanting to have a chaperon of some sort or a backup plan just in case it’s a blind date, do it discreetly. If you are young and in need of a real chaperon, then maybe that is fine. If you need someone to rescue you in case the person you are meeting turns out to be an ogre then have your friend hide somewhere.
This is the most important thing here. I mean pity dates are so out of season. If you don’t like the guy or girl spare him or her and yourself the trouble and the money that you will put out on a date. Unless you are so desperate to find someone, like an itch to get married or something crazy, don’t force it. Dating someone you dislike is like eating a piece of cardboard, it is awful. I mean it may not be that bad, but it sure won’t be something you will want to experience.
Dating is not like brain surgery or algebra. It is not supposed to be that difficult. However, there are a few things to consider to avoid falling into the trap of dating boo-boos. I hope these tips helped you out. Got to go!